By Dale Hrabi

New mom and dad are hipper, extra informed, and extra subtle than ever, yet they are additionally hugely competitive--a deadly blend while turbocharged by way of the anxieties of elevating a toddler. And for lots of undefined, it is not simply any child, however the ideal child. those “excessively prompted” mom and dad won't sabotage Junior's destiny by way of denying him Mandarin classes, a nursery chandelier (just just like the one Gwyneth's youngsters enjoy), or complicated little one yoga. A hilarious, hugely visible satire of childrearing manuals, the correct child instruction manual presents much-needed comedian reduction from the pressures of contemporary parenting, and provides convenience to parents who can say with a sigh of aid, “At least, we aren't this bad.”

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Extra resources for The Perfect Baby Handbook: A Guide for Excessively Motivated Parents

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Weaknesses: Has an inadequate thousand-nibble limit. Bottom line: Not bad, until Baby and your father-in-law start fighting over who’s going to pay for dinner. Rating: 5 Your Cousin Valerie’s Designer Sunglasses Strengths: Are quite prestigious and valuable, as Valerie keeps reminding you so fretfully; lend teething process a note of glamour. Weaknesses: As it turns out, can be “totally &@$%-ing ruined” rather easily, requiring a visit to small claims court. Bottom line: Baby’s favorite! Rating: 10 54 the per fect ba by h a ndbook 6 7 5 8 4 9 2 3 1 10 11 12 55 mir acl e-worth y gea r The High Life presenting the ultimate in elevated sloppy-eating seating t’s easy to find a safe high chair.

P. ” Although this child eventually scraped out a living as a painter, it’s hard not to imagine what he might have achieved had he enjoyed the benefits of a jogging stroller with a multiposition canopy and a good-sized underseat basket. When you factor in his natural drive, it’s no stretch to say that he could have become a legendary stockbroker with a nice vacation home in Aspen. And that’s just one example. With an effective car seat, Eli Whitney 46 the per fect ba by h a ndbook would surely have invented something less frivolous than the cotton gin.

LEAST CRITICAL Dutch design Pre-swimming lessons Shelter Sleep Personal Web site Potential Dangers The diagram at right ranks infants’ needs from least to most crucial. Since bonding is the most critical of all, it follows that ignoring your miracle for even a few minutes can easily warp his entire life. As research conducted by drunken Australians has shown, incompletely attached perfect children tend to: 1. Become socially withdrawn: Instead of asking for a large, festive birthday party with forty guests, they may request a smaller gathering with only one or two circus elephants.

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